Yes to marriage equality

May 19, 2015 at 8:29 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

We need to vote yes to affirm our shared humanity. So that we don’t put unnecessary limits on what is acceptable and what is rejected in the lived experience of our humanity.

Why the word ‘No’? What is this precisely a ‘no’ to? Why demand this prohibition to the possibilities of the happiness of another? In saying ‘no’, are you addressing real couples? Are you addressing your gay children? Your gay friends and neighbours? Who is this ‘no’ for? Might it only be to comfort and defend yourself?

If so, why? Might the idealisation of the ‘family’ really be a denial against the cruel realities of so many families? Perhaps the denial is necessary to maintain the dissociation that keeps our idealised picture in place. This allows us to ignore our childhood hurts and losses and the recognition of the dysfunctions of so many families. Where do you think all our distresses, addictions, rages come from? Many have their origin in adverse childhood experiences. Idealising the family disowns and denies the experiences of so many.

Do children really have a right to a ‘mother’ and ‘father’? Is it that simple? Perhaps they have a right instead to a good parent, a nurturing, emotionally available parent. Not a parent as a symbolic role.

We don’t need your ‘no’. We need new ‘yeses’ – yes to children being raised by emotionally mature and nurturing adults, yes to young people, gay and otherwise, who receive responses of acceptance so that all of our human experience is celebrated, and yes to adults who commit to each other and bear with each other in our confused and uncertain lives.

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